Day +4

The past couple days have been pretty much the same as before. Rough mornings and hard time eating meals followed by happy afternoon/evenings and eating snacks/treats. They say what ever he will eat is what you let him eat. We are not suppose to fight him to eat because they can become more fearful of eating after they are starting to do better. This has help me so much. I was starting to get frustrated by T not eating. He has always been a great eater. He would eat anything I put in front of him but now he won't unless it's his choice and feeling up to it. So I am not longer fighting him and our life has gotten easier and less stress. I not going about worry being put on the TPN (nurtion threw his port) he will go on and the fact that he will probably end up with a feeding tube. I have know all long it was going to happen, i just wanted to hold it off as long as possible. It's not that these 2 ways of feeding are bad. It's just that it's hard to keep your stomach working properly while on these, along with harder to get your stomach back working after but we will cross the hurdle when we come to it.

His numbers are doing what they are suppose to do, dropping, dropping and more dropping.

Yesterday 5.22.2017 Caroline and I were able to go to the zoo together to have some much need mommy and daughter time. Just like last time she loved to see all the animals and ran the each new animal that we were going to see. We watched the bird show they have there. It was pretty amazing. You not only learn about the different birds but they have they birds trained to fly right over your heads. And I am not kidding they were so close that when they flapped their wings it would hit your head! C loved It and would giggle every time one would fly right over us. It was so fun to get out of the hospital and get fresh air and enjoy time with just C. And Jeff and T had fun at the hospital. (Or as much fun as you can have)

Today 5.23.2017 has probably be the one of the hardest days for T. Not wanting to eat much, throwing up, and in pain. It's hard to watch. He will want something to eat but then try and eat it and complain of it hurting in mouth area. He is starting to get more and more phlegm in this throat and mouth and this is what is causing him to throw up. The phlegm is from the sores you develop after chemo in your mouth and all the way down (cheek to cheek on the inside) and also he throws up his oral meds. So all meds are now going through his port but one. And it does not come in IV form. The pain is most noticeable why he is sleeping. It started last night when T was just tossing and turning. We gave him pain meds and it seemed to help to get him threw the night. We tried to give him oral pain meds again this morning, but it came right back up at us. So now his is getting those IV as well.

T has not wanted to do much playing this afternoon. He actually slept all afternoon with more tossing and turning. And kicking and pulling up his legs. You can totally tell his stomach is hurting him and he can not get comfortable. It's so hard to watch. We are trying to be helpful but it's hard to know what do sometimes. But it seems T loves having his back tickled and rubbed just like his mamma. So that what we are doing the most of.

****TO TANNER: My sweet boy! It's been rough seeing you in pain. I hope this is the first of very few days for you. You still gave us some smiles and laughs today to make us feel better. We are trying to help you in every way that we know how. You also have a ton of people praying for you everyday. And more importantly I know our loving savior knows what you are feeling at all times and  is very close to you right now. T when you are reading this later on, I want you to remember that when you are having a hard time or hurting you are not alone. We will always be there for you and more importantly Our savior is right there with open arms waiting for you to ask him for help and to comfort you. And T He Will! He is comforting me and your dad right now during this trail and he is helping us know what to do for you. I love you T! Stay strong in all that you Do! Xoxo Mom!***